The Royal Warrant of
Prince Mesopotamia the
Nondescript

We, Prince Mesopotamia the Nondescript, Lord of the Nether Snuff Box, High Privy Master of the Sacred Recreational Vehicle, Grand Duke of Belch, Equerry to His Highness Wetzalthrobinbanger of No Fixed Address, Inductee into the Order of the Rumbling Snore, Imperial Emissary to the Court of Blodwyn the Scrofulous, &c, do hereby and by the power conferred upon Us by our ancient lineage and startling good looks vest the Royal Warrant of Our Court upon those few and worthy souls who have purveyed and provided Us with pages upon the World Wide Web which have served Us in good stead and are cool in Our sight. Said purveyors of web pages are hereby granted the use of Our Royal Warrant, the emblem of Our most noble and revered family, for display upon said web pages to announce the worthiness of said pages unto the plebes, the prols, the rabble, great unwashed, the slothful, the ignorant, the pungent, the unkempt, the infested and the scum of the earth.

Let it be known that the Royal Warrant of Prince Mesopotamia the Nondescript is formed of the emblems of Our most ancient and revered family. The crimson dragon of Sir Eloqutious Jones, the Butcher of Caerdyv, harkens back to the noble memory of the man who single-handedly slew the legendary Mankilling Chicken of Morganneg in the year 786. The yellow lion of Lord Richard "Frogwallah" MacStrumpet serves to remind all of the terrible sacrifice of Our revered ancestor, who was captured during the Mutiny at Faizabad and spent four dreadful years on hold while he tried to call home for enough money to pay off his gaming debts. Both of these distinguished emblems are crowned with the grey helm of King Cedric the Unpredictable, who ruled the eleven square miles of his kingdom with an iron fist after losing his real one whilest proving he could juggle chain saws.

We grant unto the holders of the Royal Warrant the privilege of displaying the emblem of Our most noble family and to include the phrase "By Appointment to the Court of His Majesty Prince Mesopotamia the Nondescript" upon their web pages. We grant this distinction only unto those web pages which are deemed to be awesome in Our sight, and warn all other prols, lowlifes and unworthies that dire and lamentable consequences shall befall any who shall appropriate the most lofty honour of the Royal Warrant without Our specific permission, and their descendants unto the tenth generation or until We are no longer in a bad mood.

Thee may select a suitable rendering of the Royal Warrant of Prince Mesopotamia the Nondescript to suit thine web page. Upon affixing said rendering of the Royal Warrant upon thine web page, thee shall in addition cause to be created a link back unto this page, that the authenticity of thine web page shall be without question. Besides, We can use the hits.

Because We are good but not God, We acknowledge that there may be web pages of noble and lofty character which have thus far escaped Our most enlightened gaze. If thou thinks thou knowst of one and are desirous of commending it unto Us for inclusion in the roll of those recipients of the Royal Warrant, send Us some e-mail to the attention of yonder web master. (Be it known that Our e-mail address is provided solely for communication concerning questions specific to Our on-line services, such as this web page. Send'th not unsolicitied advertising, chain letters, automatic messages or other vile spam to this address. Abuse of Our e-mail resources may result in legal action or a leather-winged demon of the night dining upon thine pancreas.)

Download'th yonder emblem by clicking verily upon the graphic of thine choice with thine right mouse button and select "Save Image As..." from the menu which doth appear.

Ye large Royal Warrant, for use upon any worthy page
Ye small Royal Warrant, for use upon pages having light backgrounds
Ye small Royal Warrant, for use upon pages having dark backgrounds



YE INEVITABLE BANNER ADVERTISEMENT




The Most Noble Roll of Recipients
of the Royal Warrant
of Prince Mesopotamia the Nondescript:


All high-born, scroffulous and prolls attend and take note that We were manifestly upset and disturbed by yon page Earth Time, which dost affirms that Monday is 48 hours long. Lest ye imagine this to be mere flummery, be warned that said page includes drawings and convincing scientific proof to this effect. Become learned and most enlightened about matters of time zones, date lines and other such apocrypha.

Be it known that We were greatly pleased and filled with delight and mirth by yon page Clay Kitten Shoot, an an-line game which doth pit the wile and stealth of hurled cats against a twelve-gauge shotgun. Be thee warned that this page be unsuitable for the young, the squeamish or the faint of constitution. For those stout and valiant souls who loath cats, it's cool in Our sight.

Our spirits were sent aloft by yon Flying Page, which doth manifest a wealth of kites upon a virtual sky. Yonder sky was touched not by smog, noisesome aircraft or genetically damaged albatrosses, a rare and wondrous sight indeed.



And now, a word from our sponsor...

Some of the graphics at this page were created, managed and meddled with by Graphic Workshop Professional and GIF Construction Set Professional from Alchemy Mindworks. You'll no doubt see banners here that were assembled with Animation Workshop. To learn more about these applications, please visit the Alchemy Mindworks home page.

The Alchemy Mindworks page also features Pagan Daybook to start your day with whichever god seems appropriate, Screen Saver Construction Set to build Windows Screen Savers, The Ultimate Screen Clock to give you unprecidented mastery over time and space... well, over time, anyway... and various other gadgets. The Indecent Images CD-ROM will show you pre-Raphaelite art like the image to the right of this text as the pictures were really painted.

Modesty would forbid my mentioning the extensive listing of my books therein if I were at all modest.



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