Big brother is watching reruns.

This is our version of the page that every commercial web site has to deal with the details which don't seem to have a place on other pages. It includes all our ordering options — including the really arcane ones, such as snail-mail — and the various media by which you can contact us about other matters.

You wouldn't think something like this would require as much text as it does.



ORDERING OPTIONS

To order Alchemy Mindworks' software or other products on line, please visit our secure server page. The secure server page uses a 128-bit encrypted secure socket layer to ensure that your personal information and credit card number are not compromised to third parties. See the Alchemy Mindworks privacy statement for more about how we will protect the information you disclose to us.

To order Alchemy Mindworks' software by telephone, please call our toll-free order desk at 1-800-263-1138 from anywhere in the United States or Canada. Our operators are standing by between 9:00am and 5:00pm EST to take your order. Actually, they're really sitting by.

You can reach our order desk from outside North America by calling 1-705-789-5238. Note that our operators are only able to assist you in English.

For the mutual security of our customers and ourselves, voice telephone calls to and from Alchemy Mindworks may be recorded.

IMPORTANT: Our order desk is staffed by operators who know absolutely nothing about software. They can put a credit-card machine into warp drive, but they understand less about computers than most cats understand about quantum mechanics. They cannot advise you about software features, provide you with any sort of technical support, check order status, modify or cancel orders, pass messages along to technical support or customer service or transfer your call to someone more knowledgeable.

They only take credit card orders.

If you call our order desk and ask to do anything other than place an order, our operators will refer you to our main office number, below.

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We can accept payment by American Express, MasterCard, Discover and Visa.

If you wish to pay for your order with a check or money order, please complete one of our order forms and mail it with your payment to:

Alchemy Mindworks
L10 C8 Brunel
Huntsville, Ontario
P1H 2J3
CANADA

Yes, we know the order forms are bit inflexible and corporate — completing one, however, will ensure that we have all the information we require to process your order without delay.

Please note that all our prices are quoted in Canadian dollars, exclusive of applicable sales taxes or shipping costs.

CANADIAN CUSTOMERS: We regret that we are required to collect GST or HST, depending on where you're located. Please be sure to include it in your order total if you're using a mailed-in order form.

US CUSTOMERS: We can accept a check drawn on a US bank, and most forms of money orders.

OVERSEAS CUSTOMERS: We can accept payment by international money order and international bank draft. These must include clearing information for North America printed on them. We are unable to accept payment by Eurocheques, as they cannot be cashed outside Europe. We are required to collect VAT for electronically-delivered products sold to customers in EU countries, plus a $4.00 VAT processing fee per order. Please be sure to include these in your order total if you're using a mailed-in order form.

The following are answers to some additional ordering questions we get asked frequently:

  • We are unable to ship software or other products by COD.
  • We cannot provide you with a pro-forma invoice in advance of purchase for single-unit orders.
  • We are unable to ship software prior to receiving payment for it.
  • We cannot accept unpre-paid purchase orders unless they originate from government agencies, schools or businesses under prior agreement. All purchase orders must be submitted using an Alchemy Mindworks Purchase Order Form.
  • Our present bank cannot accept payments by wire transfer.
  • We are unable to fill orders which include specific vendor conditions that contradict the stated terms and conditions under which Alchemy Mindworks' software is licensed or used.
  • We are unable to complete additional vendor documentation, including but not exclusive to W-8 forms, W-9 forms and Foreign Tax Status declarations for orders having a value before taxes and shipping of less than $10,000.
  • We cannot provide United States Federal Tax ID numbers or United States Social Security numbers, as we are a Canadian corporation. We will not provide a Canadian social insurance number as a term of doing business.
  • Our Canadian GST number is R859853251.
  • Software once ordered cannot be returned or exchanged. Orders cannot be cancelled or modified after submission. All product orders placed with Alchemy Mindworks are assumed to be governed by the Terms and Conditions for Alchemy Mindworks software and the prevalent software license(s) for the software in question.
  • For our mutual protection, credit card numbers may be subject to address verification. Please ensure that the shipping address for your order matches your credit card's billing address.
  • We are required to charge all Canadian customers GST or HST. If you have a special arrangement with the feds by which you don't pay sales tax, you will unquestionably know how to claim this back.
  • We are not required to charge sales tax for customers outside Canada and the EU, a situation we sincerely hope will stay that way. If your organization is tax-exempt, you have our heartiest congratulations — but it won't affect your order.
  • We are able to accept payment by PayPal — please see our PayPal e-commerce page.

If you have any questions about the foregoing — yes, there was quite a bit of it — we invite you to send us some e-mail



CONTACTING ALCHEMY MINDWORKS

The best way to contact us is by e-mail. Aside from not costing anything, our e-mail page will help route your mail to the most appropriate party with a minimum of delay. If the most appropriate party isn't available at the moment, you won't be confronted with voice mail.

If you need support for your Alchemy Mindworks software, please visit our support page.

Lost your registration keys? Sometimes those things actually sneak out of your computer late at night and flee to Brazil. We can replace them for you — have a word with the Lost Registration Key Finder. Please note that we are unable to address lost registration key requests by other means.

If you'd really like to speak to someone, our main office number is 1-705-789-5238. The main office number is available 10:00am to 5:00pm EST most business days. In the event that you call when everyone's otherwise engaged, you'll encounter the dreaded Alchemy Mindworks voice mail system. Permit us to apologize in advance for this. Please note that we are unable to return calls for technical support, order status, customer service and registration issues.

Our snail-mail address is:

Alchemy Mindworks
L10 C8 Brunel
Huntsville, Ontario
P1H 2J3
CANADA

Note that letters take a long time to get here from outside Canada — two to three weeks isn't unheard of. If you're in a hurry, there are faster ways to contact us.

We are unable to provide technical support or customer service by snail-mail.

All the information at this page is as accurate as we can make it. Neither Alchemy Mindworks nor the author of this page accepts any responsibility for any loss, damage or expense caused by your use of these pages, however it happens. If you can figure out a way for any of this to cause you loss, damage or expense you have a sneakier mind than any of us. This page and all dependent pages are copyright © 1994 — 2014 Alchemy Mindworks. No portion of this page may be reproduced in any form without the explicit written permission of the author and copyright holder.