I want it all, and I want it all covered in chocolate!







e-mailWe look forward to hearing from you. To help us respond to your query in a timely manner, please complete the following form. Click on Submit, below, and your message will be sent to the recipient you've selected.

Please note:

  • UNSPEAKABLY IMPORTANT: If you require support for Alchemy Mindworks software, please see our support page. This includes assistance with installation and registration issues. Our customer service staff can't address technical stuff... trust us.

  • If this is your first time sending mail to Alchemy Mindworks, we ask that you read our E-mail Guidelines or at least the fine print below. Should you find yourself in a raging hurry, here are the bulletted points:

    • Our mail is usually answered within a few hours.
    • We ask that you not use jargon or abbreviations in your message.
    • Be certain to quote your entire message thread if you reply to our reply.
    • We can only respond to messages written in English.
    • Don't even think about sending us unsolicited advertising or promotions.
    • Please be polite — flaming us will spoil your day.

  • If you have lost your registration code, please don't send us e-mail. Visit the Lost Registration Code Robot to request a replacement code.

  • To add, remove or change an entry in the Alchemy Mindworks e-mail update list, please see the mailing list page.

  • Please send one copy of your message. If you have chosen an inappropriate destination, your message will be routed internally until it reaches someone who can respond to it.

All of the following fields are required — your message will not be delivered if any of them are blank or unselected.

Name:
    We ask that you use your real name in this field. We promise to keep it confidential. We consider receiving e-mail messages with ostensibly clever bogus names to be impolite. Be warned that if you send us one anyway, we might be in a weird mood when we receive it and send you some bogus information in reply.
   


E-Mail Address:
    Please be certain to double-check your e-mail address. If it's incorrect, we won't be able to reply to your message and you'll think we're inconsiderate swine. You'll probably tell all your friends bad things about us, we'll have to send our leather-winged demon of the night to eat your pancreas... all in all, an ugly outcome for a minor typo.
   


Destination:
    Please select the nature of your message and direct it to the correct recipient at Alchemy Mindworks. Choosing the correct recipient will get you a reply a good deal sooner, not to mention minimizing the likelihood of your message vanishing into the black hole of forwarded e-mail.
    


Subject:
    Select a subject for your message. If you're contacting us about a specific Alchemy Mindworks product, please use its name as the subject. The "Other" option at the end of the list can be used if you've thought of a subject that didn't occur to the designers of this form.
    


Guidelines:
    The E-mail Guidelines page will help you get a fast, useful response from our support staff with a minimum of typing. Please review them before you send your message.
    


Message:
   Here's where you can actually enter the text of your message. In doing so, we ask that you keep in mind that while there certainly are people who work at Alchemy Mindworks and claim to be clairvoyant — not that we wholly believe them in this respect — it's a bad idea to assume that one of them will respond to your e-mail.

IMPORTANT: Please explain what you're inquiring about in detail. If you encountered an error message, quote its entire text. We ask that you not use a screen capture as a substitute for describing your problem.

We would also like to take this opportunity to observe that while software issues can be frustrating at times, it's a mistake to take them personally. Addressing our support people in a rude or abusive manner isn't likely to get your question answered. This field can hold up to 6000 characters.
    

LEGAL DOGMA: All information submitted through this form will be treated in confidence, in accordance with the terms of our privacy policy. Alchemy Mindworks accepts no responsibility for any loss, damage or expense caused by your use of this page, however it occurs. By clicking on the submit button, below, you indicate that you accept these terms and that you indemnify and hold blameless Alchemy Mindworks and all its stockholders and suppliers from any monetary costs including attorney's fees and court costs arising out of your use of this page and any information provided by it. You further assert that you are the individual or the legitimate representative of the organization indicated above, and that you have a legitimate right to request the information to be provided by this page. Alchemy Mindworks may, at its discretion, seek civil and/or criminal penalties for parties misusing this page or information provided by it. The availability of this page does not constitute an assurance or contract on the part of Alchemy Mindworks to provide the information described herein. Any comments or information that you provide to Alchemy Mindworks, for example feedback or ideas, suggestions, concepts, or other information (collectively, the "Submissions"), shall be deemed, and shall remain, the property of Alchemy Mindworks. None of the Submissions shall be subject to any obligation of confidence on the part of Alchemy Mindworks, and Alchemy Mindworks shall not be liable for any use or disclosure (including publication in any medium) of any Submissions. Without limitation of the foregoing, Alchemy Mindworks shall exclusively own all now known or hereafter existing rights to the Submissions of every kind and nature and shall be entitled to unrestricted use of the Submissions for any purpose, commercial or otherwise, without compensation to the provider of the Submissions. The lawyers made us say that.

IMPORTANT: When we reply to your support request, and you reply to our reply — a phenomenon referred to as a "message thread" — please quote your entire message thread with each reply. In addition, be sure to quote the entire unmodified original message form contents, and do not delete or modify the Subject field of the message thread. Should you fail to quote your message thread, our internal mail routing software won't know where to send your message, and the staff member with whom you communicate won't be able to continue your support session. Our support staff don't have access to previous, deleted messages — if you don't quote your message thread, it never happened.



Life's a bitch, and some days it has puppies.

Our e-mail is usually answered within one hour during business hours, and within one business day at other times. We've been known to let this lofty ideal slip now and again when we get really swamped, but we will get back to you as quickly as possible.

In contacting us for assistance with technical matters, we ask that you state your questions as clearly and simply as possible, using no jargon, abbreviations or other bits we're unlikely to understand. We're pleased to assist you, but doing so will be somewhat tricky if we don't know what you're asking.

If we reply to you and you reply to our reply — a phenomenon referred to as a "message thread" — please quote all the previous messages in the thread. We respond to hundreds of messages per day, and this is the only way we'll be able to keep track of what's been said.

We are only able to respond to messages written in English.

Our mail server will not accept unauthorized attachments in excess of 100 kilobytes. If you'd like to e-mail us a file with which you have encountered difficulties, or a large screen capture illustrating something pertinent to your message, please get in touch with us first. Please send us screen captures as JPG files.

Alchemy Mindworks will not condone the use of its e-mail resources for the distribution of spam and other unsolicited advertising. Please see our e-mail policy for more about this.

If you have encountered a problem with our software, an order placed with us or something to do with our web pages or servers, be assured that it wasn't meant personally and we'd like to resolve it without flames, bloodshed or limited nuclear warfare. Contacting us in a polite, reasonable manner will get your problem addressed promptly.

We're extremely serious about privacy — please see our privacy statement for more about this. All communications through this page are deemed to be governed by this document — by sending us e-mail, you agree to be bound by its terms.